How have you all been?
Recently I and Prem were having a discussion about many things and one was really very important. About thinking and over thinking.
So here you go. Some helpful content for you.
Everyone, almost everyone goes through this phase.
Our society normalises abnormalities and over focuses on trivial things. Especially moms.
We have seen enough things about what a mom goes through in her life.But today I’d like to address more of solutions. When I thought my life is shit, good for nothing, many says it’s inspiring. And when I stepped out of my own shoe and looked my life back to see, its not bad after all.
Many time I felt why is nobody understanding me? Why is life complicated. Why things are not in my favour etc. When I could find a solution, I figured out a process. A method that can help me find a way to solve.
That’ when Started journaling.
Basically I recorded almost everything what’s running inside my head. used to scribble almost everything.
Like random things
Like what I ate in a day.
Whom did I meet.
What my dreams are.
Good day. Bad day.
Now what is a Negative self-talk?
From the moment you are born, till you die, the only person you keep talking all your life is nobody but you. Not your family, friends or whosoever.
But we are raised in culture with lot of negative blueprints. Society norms etc. In that process we have built a negative self talk.
Which exactly what I went through. So I started writing things down.
Initially I couldn’t even write. I cried and cried so much I ended up gasping badly, felt unconscious, not being able to write anything coz too many thoughts flow super fast and my hands are not not even moving. So I end up scratching the paper and tear the papers and throw them away.
Then I started making voice notes, speaking up all my heart out.
While writing I dont know what really happens inside my head, but definitely feels like I’m puking them all out and no residue remains. Everything is flushed out.
When the year ends, we gear up to welcome the new year, I trek to some place I sit in silence read them all. And when I sit in silence and read, it actually helps me process through. I think that makes me evolve in life.
Like, I can understand better when I am calm.
Usually on a daily basis, we think in just one dimension – our perspective. And when we think we really dont know what’s processing. Thoughts flow like water. That’s one of the major reasons mediation is not for everyone. Lot of people ask me, how do you meditate? When I sit, I get 100 thoughts flowing in. I’m not very great at meditating, but to an extent I definitely can focus one one thing – breathing or any chanting of mantras without any distraction.
Cleansing is nothing but processing.
If I ask you sit in a silent place, think to focus on one thing. You cant focus on that one thing but everything. You get hundreds of things coming to mind.
Now that’s a human mind.
But many of us think it’s not.
People with low attention span, lack of empathy, horrible listening skills – Basically they cant focus.
Here are some of the techniques that help you process your thoughts.
When you breakdown, or into too much of stress, having a bad day, a fight at home with anyone. Do this.
Just take a pen and a paper. Draw a circle at the centre of the page. Draw some arrow lines outwards and write just one word that comes to your mind.
Keep drawing as long as you need it.
Once done, once you feel you are okay, close the book, drink water, take a break. Go sleep.
Don’t even think of taking a look at it.
Next day when u are calm, or in a better state of mind, then take a look.
Group words that may be relevant but repetitive thoughts.
Like here in example, punching someone’s face, boxing, throwing anger out is all same. Where cold, hilly station, is all in a same group
Then think what your mind is trying to tell you. What is it trying to figure it out.
Go solve it.
I’m sure all of us have learnt programming in one or the other levels in computer classes at schools. A flowchart. If-Else chart.
Just do the same thing.
Affirmations & Gratitude
All public figures, successful people have been speaking in any of their interviews about gratitude.
But I so wondered how it works for them and not for me?
They say to be thankful for everything happening in your life. If you dont have e anything at least thank for the food, water, healthy body and at least you are alive.
But I so badly laughed at it coz I really had nothing to thank the universe for. Everyday thanking for food and others things didn’t made sense.
But I again cracked this formula to understand how exactly this works.
There are two types of thoughts – Virtual, Reality
What you visualise virtually, what it real.
If you say
I’m sad and keep saying I’m sad, even if you are in a good mood, you will start feeling sad. Coz you are just sending a message to brain I’m Sad.
That’s a negative self talk.
I’m not looking great.
I’m not lucky etc
These self talk keeps processing in the backend of your system and doesn’t shut down. It keeps running.
Affirmations and Gratitude are the anti virus.
Instead of I’m not lucky, dont say I am lucky (which you might not) But say I want to attract luck, I want to get lucky.
I’m not looking great, dont say I am beautiful the way I am(which your mind will not genuinely accept) But say I will look great in the next few weeks.
This is where most of the internet content didn’t help me that I had to figure out my own way.
Coz in the back of my mind, I knew I am not lucky or not really that good looking. Accepting the truth or handling rejections are difficult. But we need to.
And the best way is to acknowledge and immediately switch to your desired mind, what you want to be and where you want to be.
I affirm only that I genuinly mean.
I affirm – I’m weak, I want to get stronger and more stronger.
I affirm – I hate this person, I want to let them go off my mind.
I affirm – I look ugly, but I let go of this thought and start seeing my beautiful side of me. I want to explore the goodness in me.
I affirm I get angry, but I want to let my frustrations go and grow more patience in me.